My Economic Stimulus Package

Yesterday I spent the better part of my day in a major department store looking for clothes. I have money, I want clothes. I am ready to spend, unfortunately, my frustration with American clothing manufacturers got the better of me and yet once again I left the store empty handed.

Having had a night to sleep on it, I have come up with a plan that ties right into Obama's plan to jump start the economy. This will be a come to Jesus meeting for the American fashion industry.

First and foremost American fashion designers will be forced to design clothing for females in the following ranges: children, teens and misses. Each has a distinctive body type and needs their own sizing. And every designer will be forced to cut clothing to the same dimensions. A ten in one line will be exactly the same size as a ten in another line. Just making the pattern adjustments should put tons of people back to work.

I demand that designers' clothing must fit both boobs and hips, no more pretending that all women are prepubescent just because you happen to like the way clothes hang on boobless/hipless women during a fashion show.

The reason women are not out spending is not because they don't want to, its just that they have enough black clothes to last an entire lifetime. When is the last time you saw any cute cocktail dress in any other color than black? Variety, we need variety. And why is it when one style of clothing is popular, every single store, has the same style, and what if you happen to look like crap in that style? Once again, the economy loses as women will say to hell with it and just wear what they have in their closets that they know that they look good in.

I really did set out to get new clothes yesterday, I tried on at least 35 pieces, and bought none.

I want women's clothing that fits, offers variety and is available in standardized sizing. By just making these changes, women would be able to walk in, look at an outfit and know that the size would fit. Isn't it about time?

And one more thing, when did elastic, stretchy, almost a bouncy like cloth become popular to use for clothing? I must have seen thousands of pieces of winter clothing made out of the stuff yesterday, and by the way, shouldn't that be a head's up to designers, when their stretchy, clingy crap still on the hangers in the stores, that women are avoiding that material.

We could jump start this economy with a stimulus package that would include the standardization of women's clothing. It would put people back to work and would also put consumers back into the stores. Now that's a win-win.

I like my idea better than giving money to a bank so they can buy another bank and then congratulate each other's execs by handing out bonuses or maybe buying another private plane.