Wanted: Inventors, with Compassion

This month is February and besides looking forward to Valentine's Day, it is also the month for me to have my annual mammogram, Whooopee !

Years ago when I had my first mammogram, the machinery was not so squeezable. I had to place my breast on a brick of foam, and there was a machine directly above the breast that I assumed took the xray. I do know that the technician left the room and spoke to me over the intercom. I was so nervous about the procedure that when she said, Hold your breath, I thought she said hold your breast, which I did at the very last minute. When the films were developed, all I heard was laughter. They brought in my xray and if I do say so myself it was a great xray showing me cuppping my breast. I'm sure they kept that one for the hospital's look how stupid some patients can be exhibit.

I cannot begin to imagine who the sadist was who designed the mammography machine as it is today. It had to be a man. No woman I know would say to herself, "I think I'll design a machine that takes one of the most sensitive parts of a woman's body, put it into a vise and then squeeze it as hard as possible. And not only will I do this from the top and bottom, I think I'll make it necessary to also do it from side to side".

Yup, it could not have been a woman who designed that machine.

The other day, I was trying to explain the experience to my husband. I told him to open the refrigerator door, place his private parts in and then close the door as hard as he could and press for about 15 seconds, and of course hold your breath while doing this. Just the thought made him sick.

There must be a better way. With all the students in Medical School today, please tell me that one of them will come up with a better way.

I think a mammogram should be like the machine you have to walk through in the airport. If everything looks OK, keep on going, if there is something that requires attention it should beep and alert the technician.

I would bet money if men needed to have a peni-gram, utilizing the same machine that women use for their annual mammogram, there would be a new machine invented before you could say silicone. Another thought, if some breasts are primarily silicone will the machine burst them? It would be a bummer to go in stacked and come out flat.